Sonnet 36: Swoon

By Tatiana Suarez-Pico

It's really hard to gage how much it's too much
when you're putting yourself out there
if giving is enough, if this is too fast, when we touch
I'm mortified it will be terribly wrong to care-

if I give too much too soon
if this is what happens to mothers who give it all
at too cheap a price and as they swoon
pass it on to their daughters that this is how the story will fall

if i just knew the right amount
had the right formula, a blueprint
these barriers would be easier to surmount
my hand wouldn't fight hard against a bed that feels like flint

i don't know how much it's too much, it keeps me up at night
tears spring from eyes wondering why, i have to get it right.