POC Playwright Looks Back

 (Photo by Erik Pearson from August 2010: a sweaty month of black box theatre.)

The 11 yr journey of alternative POC playwrights: Daria Polatin (showrunner of DEVIL IN OHIO, co-ep on CASTLE ROCK and HUNTERS), J. Holtham (co-ep on THE HANDMAIDEN'S TALE), and me (co-ep on EVIL and THE GOOD FIGHT). 

My two POC playwright roommates at the time: both co-eps on tv shows now. No Broadway. No off-broadway. No black box.

I look back on these pics with layered emotions. Part of me is like 'damn, NONE of my POC peer group is in theatre anymore.' We won occasional prizes and got small workshops, but none of us got sustainable support to, you know, pay rent or fix a chipped tooth. And we did this for 7-10 yrs. At the same time, it was a fantastic training ground for our craft. 

Things have definitely changed. Now I can name 6 or 7 young POC playwrights who have had multiple off-broadway premieres, and a dozen poc playwrights who have started off their career at a major regional theatre. Those numbers aren't great, but when you compare it to 10 yrs ago...it's so much better. 

The other part of me wonders if hanging around the 'downtown theatre party' was a trap back then? Is it a trap today? Maybe the theatre gatekeepers did us a huge favor? We are much better off than the POC who 'sort of/kind of' got something and then had to linger around, hoping for the crumbs that fell off the table of white American theatre. I know some people were strung along for 15-20 years for an off-off-broadway production. No healthcare. Still living in the same 4 bedroom apartment. Hanging around for a black box. 

It isn't sour grapes or sweet lemons. It's perspective. I truly don't know what would have been the best case scenario. I'm glad I have healthcare. I'm grateful I'm still writing. I'm happy that I can occasionally get play up WITHOUT having to rely on that play for my emotional well-being or income. I love tv and film...but I still return to theatre like its my roots.

Some of my other playwriting friends are DONE with theatre. They spit on the grave of their playwriting dreams. Blah. Fuck off. Die. They never want to sit through another pretension play. But how can you ever get to that rare transcendent work if you don't wade through pretension, elitism, grad school nonsense, and nepotistic crud? That's part of the dysfunctional process that is theatre in America. If you throw out pretension, you are throwing out the possibility of seeing something new. And to say you are uninterested in ever seeing something breathtaking on stage...fills me with a certain sadness. Like forever forever? You're done?!? Yes, some people are forever done. Or that's what they say in conversation. But I wonder if there isn't a stirring deep down inside. It's like being in a really fucked up passionate dysfunctional relationship for a long time. Even if you break up, get married to someone stable, have kids, move on with your life... isn't there still tiny part that stirs at the mention of their name? For some people the answer is 'hell no, fuck that ho!' But I don't think that's most people. 

Anyway this is a pic from 11 yrs ago. Three playwrights with the elephant in the room: our ex-boyfriend, ex-wife, ex-friends-with-benefits, ex-sidechick...theatre. I still fucks with you. But I don't rely on you.