Dad Memory: He went through a phase of listening to self-help tapes in the car. And these self-appointed gurus would drone on as I stared out the car window on the way to school. One day Dad pulled up to school and announced that I should say this mantra...
I am good
I am great
I am a problem-solver.
Ummm...okay, dad. He locked the doors to the car so I couldn't get out. He was serious. I rolled my eyes and mumbled them. No...I had to say it like I meant it. Exasperated, I blurted it out in one long statement... IAMGOODIAMGREATIAMAPROBLEMSOLVER!
There! Are you happy? Dad unlocked the doors. I thought it was a one time thing but the next morning the routine repeated itself. And the next.
On some mornings, it was the only thing we said to each other before departing. We would ride in complete silence and then say together: "I am good. I am great. I am a problem solver."
Exhale. Open door.
It was the magic password to get out of the car and go into the world. And then one day, I had to say it to myself...in the rearview mirror. You mean I have to look at myself saying these words?!? Ahhh! I didn't know why it was so unnerving to focus on myself and to say those three simple sentences. Some days I would only glance in the mirror out of the corner of my eyes...yeah yeah...I'm good, I'm great, problem-solver, got it.
When I thought I was going to fail my 6th grade math final because I couldn't remember a single thing taught over the year, I panicked. I was drenched in icy cold sweat. The teacher said I should go to the bathroom and wipe my armpits or figure something out. When I got to bathroom mirror, I just kept saying those three sentences again and again. I breathed. Magically, all the information came back. I went from having a totally blank mind of terror, to suddenly remembering everything. I got an A.
In soap opera lab at Northwestern...I was directing my episode of "The Young & the Restless" (in honor of Mema) and the professor stopped everything to announce I had a major problem. They were not going to tell me what it was, but I had to figure it out and fix it before resuming my episode. They walked off the set. I stood there. Frozen. Then I whispered the mantra under my breath, huddled everyone in a circle and went down the shot list, where I had possibly called the wrong cue, found the point where I broke the 180 degree rule, re-blocked the very patient actors, confirmed a new shot list, and we were ready to roll again after a few minutes. My mood went from panic, to 'fuck it' I'll just be a comm studies major who doesn't have to deal with production, to calm, to inspired.
This was over 30 years ago. I have no idea what self-help speaker this came from or what prompted my dad to start this routine. But on some days, this is my emergency key to get out of my fear, panic, imposter syndrome, anxiety, and catastrophe spiral. It's so simple. I guess that's why it works as a mantra.
I am good.
I am great.
I am a problem solver.
Does anyone else have any mantras given to you by your parents? Inspiring, funny, sarcastic?
I am good
I am great
I am a problem-solver.
Ummm...okay, dad. He locked the doors to the car so I couldn't get out. He was serious. I rolled my eyes and mumbled them. No...I had to say it like I meant it. Exasperated, I blurted it out in one long statement... IAMGOODIAMGREATIAMAPROBLEMSOLVER!
There! Are you happy? Dad unlocked the doors. I thought it was a one time thing but the next morning the routine repeated itself. And the next.
On some mornings, it was the only thing we said to each other before departing. We would ride in complete silence and then say together: "I am good. I am great. I am a problem solver."
Exhale. Open door.
It was the magic password to get out of the car and go into the world. And then one day, I had to say it to myself...in the rearview mirror. You mean I have to look at myself saying these words?!? Ahhh! I didn't know why it was so unnerving to focus on myself and to say those three simple sentences. Some days I would only glance in the mirror out of the corner of my eyes...yeah yeah...I'm good, I'm great, problem-solver, got it.
When I thought I was going to fail my 6th grade math final because I couldn't remember a single thing taught over the year, I panicked. I was drenched in icy cold sweat. The teacher said I should go to the bathroom and wipe my armpits or figure something out. When I got to bathroom mirror, I just kept saying those three sentences again and again. I breathed. Magically, all the information came back. I went from having a totally blank mind of terror, to suddenly remembering everything. I got an A.
In soap opera lab at Northwestern...I was directing my episode of "The Young & the Restless" (in honor of Mema) and the professor stopped everything to announce I had a major problem. They were not going to tell me what it was, but I had to figure it out and fix it before resuming my episode. They walked off the set. I stood there. Frozen. Then I whispered the mantra under my breath, huddled everyone in a circle and went down the shot list, where I had possibly called the wrong cue, found the point where I broke the 180 degree rule, re-blocked the very patient actors, confirmed a new shot list, and we were ready to roll again after a few minutes. My mood went from panic, to 'fuck it' I'll just be a comm studies major who doesn't have to deal with production, to calm, to inspired.
This was over 30 years ago. I have no idea what self-help speaker this came from or what prompted my dad to start this routine. But on some days, this is my emergency key to get out of my fear, panic, imposter syndrome, anxiety, and catastrophe spiral. It's so simple. I guess that's why it works as a mantra.
I am good.
I am great.
I am a problem solver.
Does anyone else have any mantras given to you by your parents? Inspiring, funny, sarcastic?
2 comments:
Really inspiring post.Thanks for sharing motivating mantras of your father. My dad manages time in the right way. I learnt punctuality from him. This helped me to prepare effectively for my IAS exams.
Aurin,
Did you see these self-inspirational mantras from Octavia Butler? They reminded me of your dad and his affirmations.
http://www.openculture.com/2020/06/behold-octavia-butlers-motivational-notes-to-self.html
loved this piece, thanks for posting it.
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