*HOW IT HAPPENED*
BEZOS: Dems are attacking me as an elitist so me and Bill think you should run for president...as a man of the people?
BLOOMBERG: How am I a man of the ppl?
BILL GATES: Well you only have a few billion dollars. I mean, don't take this personally MIkey, that's not like...real money.
BEZOS: Absolutely. You are salt of the earth, a simple apple, a used diaper rolling across the floor of an Amazon Prime warehouse, like a tumbleweave of working-class anxiety and incontinence.
BLOOMBERG: Guys, I have over $50 billion. I have money like you. I...I...
BILL: -you're like a Pabst Blue Ribbon beer cap floating in the clogged sink of Middle America. Cheap, dirty, but resilient.
BLOOMBERG: *crying*: I have real money!! I am not made out of wood! I AM REAL BOY-
BEZOS: -you're like a worn grain of sand at Coney Island, covered w/ insulin syringes, oxycodone pills, and hobo pee.
BLOOMBERG *runs off in tears*
BILL: Oh come on, don't cry, Mike. Do you need a tissue? I got a billion dollars you can wipe your eyes with....we just gotta show the ppl how we're common folks like you.
BEZOS: So...should we just vote for Trump again or what?
BEZOS: Dems are attacking me as an elitist so me and Bill think you should run for president...as a man of the people?
BLOOMBERG: How am I a man of the ppl?
BILL GATES: Well you only have a few billion dollars. I mean, don't take this personally MIkey, that's not like...real money.
BEZOS: Absolutely. You are salt of the earth, a simple apple, a used diaper rolling across the floor of an Amazon Prime warehouse, like a tumbleweave of working-class anxiety and incontinence.
BLOOMBERG: Guys, I have over $50 billion. I have money like you. I...I...
BILL: -you're like a Pabst Blue Ribbon beer cap floating in the clogged sink of Middle America. Cheap, dirty, but resilient.
BLOOMBERG: *crying*: I have real money!! I am not made out of wood! I AM REAL BOY-
BEZOS: -you're like a worn grain of sand at Coney Island, covered w/ insulin syringes, oxycodone pills, and hobo pee.
BLOOMBERG *runs off in tears*
BILL: Oh come on, don't cry, Mike. Do you need a tissue? I got a billion dollars you can wipe your eyes with....we just gotta show the ppl how we're common folks like you.
BEZOS: So...should we just vote for Trump again or what?
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