Wednesday, March 4, 2020

My Annual Progressive Check-Up

"Being right is always the last resort of the losing side."

-Oh, I've been right before. I've been so goddamn right about things that I could explode with indignation. Fury. Rage. What do these idiots know? Have they not see the facts, the stats, the indicators? What is wrong with people?!? I have been the righteous teenager, the insufferable college student, idealistic young adult, the outraged artist with well-researched books and journals about why racism is real, why the industrial meat complex is bad for society, why we no longer live in a true democracy, why why why is nobody listening? Can they not see how RIGHT I am? I have the facts to prove it.

And then I think it was my Dad who said one day 'oh, you're so right' with a chilling sarcasm. I was in the middle of arguing something and he agreed that I was absolutely right...and it didn't matter.

If we lived in a society that valued facts, America would be more similar to Norway than what it is today. If 'rightness' and communal good were our priorities we would already have universal healthcare, free college, high-income tax rate for the wealthy, $30/hr minimum wage, laws against predatory lending, universal basic income, 12-month maternity leave, free childcare, free school meals to any hungry kid, free public transportation, reformed criminal justice system, reformed bail system, bike lanes on every road, people would MEDITATE every day and see a massive reduction in mental and physical ailments for free!  All these things have been shown to improve the overall standard of living for citizens. You could look up the facts on it and see how America would be transformed overnight. Take a moment and feel the warmth of this utopian society. And now SNAP THE FUCK OUT OF IT!

While righteousness is the fuel of Facebook and cable news, it doesn't sway people...and by people I, of course, mean that particular self-interested species known as Americans. We have never cared about doing the right thing for all. We don't have the 40-hour work week because corporate bosses saw the wisdom of rest and relaxation. We have the 40-hr work week because union members literally fought, died, bled, and convinced the majority of Americans to not stop until the internal strife threatened the profit margins of the oligarchs. We have mandatory education, Medicare, Medicaid, and these things came at great expense of pushing, stomping, and selling the idea. And no one sells an idea on 'what's right'...except maybe vegans. Now compare their population to how many people eat hot dogs on the 4th of July and you have the difference between 'the right tribe' and the tribe that's going to do whatever the fuck it wants. A large percentage of men don't recycle because they think 'it's gay.' 40% of the population will no longer drink Corona beer because of a flu with the same name. Progressives: this is what we are dealing with here. We can call these people stupid but we are homo sapiens. Neanderthals were the vastly smarter and more self-sufficient species of humans...and they're no longer here. Homo sapiens wiped them out and then rewrote the language so that neanderthal means 'stupid.' That's what's going to happen to the American progressive movement if we don't start fighting on a smarter ground that being right. We will be the Adlai Stevenson of history.

That's not to say we shouldn't fight for universal healthcare or new environmental regulations. But being 'factually right' has never swayed the majority of people...and by people, I now mean homo sapiens throughout history. Telling the better mythology has...so tell teenage boys that abusive men have smaller dicks, recycling makes your erection last longer, cyclists are sexy as fuck and here is some cycle-based green energy porn to seep into your subconscious. Appeal to the vanity, avarice, and superstition. "Fuck that guy" wins over kumbaya...even more so if 'fuck that guy' is packaged like its Christian values or god's favor or a higher form of kumbaya. 

1 comment:

Unknown said...

Love. This. Thanks.

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