Sunday, March 1, 2020

Fortune's Fate

I spent the early part of my 20s in undergrad and grad school and finished when I was 26. And then from 26 to about 30 I worked odd jobs, temped, snagged occasional artistic job, got into Ars Nova, received my first screenplay commission from an indie company, got an agent, and cobbled together a patchwork life. I had the energy to work a hundred jobs and come home and write, go to groups, network, travel to far-flung boroughs for basement readings.

From about 31-33, is when things started to happen..where I was earning most of my income doing freelance creative gigs, commissions, small assignments, producing web videos. I could reasonably say I was a working artist in NYC...a terrifying, precarious, nebulous sort of creature who flits about on the goodwill, charm, and luck of encounters. For instance, I ran into a Colombian filmmaker on the subway and convinced him to give me a job breaking down and outlining his movie. As my office, I used an apt I was catsitting/plantsitting at, which also served as rehearsal space for my play that I was self-producing on a shoe-string budget for a festival. That is the kind of patchwork, multitasking I had to do to stay afloat: catsitting/housesitting, script consulting, self-producing my own play successfully enough that I actually earned money.

In another instance I saw an email for a media company's cocktail party I made up my mind that I was going to go there and get a job producing web videos. I had no idea how, but I was going to network like my rent depended on it (because it did), plough through small-talkers, and make a beeline to the people with money...and I did. The cocktail party led to multiple writing/producing web video jobs...and the rent was paid.

And then from 33-35, I was at Juilliard which meant a small stipend, plus some additional benefits. And then after that, I got my first tv job and have been working in that field for the last 5 years.

Here is why I am fortunate...from about the age of 27 to 33 I had no healthcare coverage. I had no savings or safety net...and I was surviving in NYC. During that time I did not get hospital sick, I did not get in an accident, no extreme/horrible circumstances befell me. There were several close calls, near misses, almost car accidents. If ANYTHING traumatic/accidental/injurious would have happened in that 6 yr window between when I was kicked off my parent's healthcare and before I got on Juilliard's healthcare plan...it would have been game over. I don't believe that I lacked intelligence or hustle during that period of time. I don't believe I was undeserving of help or the solution was that I needed to work harder. I WAS working...really REALLY hard at multiple freelance jobs. When I earned a large chunk of money for another artistic project during that time, 90% of it went to the dentist. It was the first time I could see one and afford to get everything fixed/cleaned up. That's what I did with the bonus/fun money.

For the past 7 yrs I have had really good insurance thanks to Juilliard and then immediately getting a staff writer job which allowed me to get into the Writers Guild...which has great coverage. But just because I have good coverage, benefits, savings right now...doesn't mean I forgot how it was back then. It also doesn't mean that I'm not aware that millions of people in cities like NYC and LA (where young ppl go to pursue dreams) are praying/hoping/existing on a thread of luck. All it takes is one accident, one missed rent payment, one infection, one fall and the thread snaps.

There is a low-key state of dread when you know that you are one paycheck away from disaster. It shouldn't have to be this way to pursue your dreams. It shouldn't have to be this way to live like a human being. 

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