*Me waiting for falafel. A woman walks by.... Two old men waiting for food look at the woman...and then look each other*
Old Man #1: I gotta look
Old Man #2: Of course, you gotta look. You're not dead.
Old Man #1: the things I could do to her.
Old Man #2: I'm married but...for her I'd be willing.
Old Man #1: They say 'if it smells like fish, eat all that you wish. But if it smells like cologne leave it alone.'
Old Man #2: Never heard of that. (to Falafel guy) You heard of that?
*Falafel guy shakes his head*
Old Man#2: I've heard 'lick it before you stick it.'
Old Man #1: Yeah, but he can't do that (re: Falafel guy). He's not allowed to do that. Yeah, if it smells like fish means if it's a woman-
Me: Yep.
Old Man #1: but if it smells like cologne it's a dude. So you gotta leave it alone.
Me: Yeah...that's the way it goes.
Old Man #2: These days you can't say no if it's a dude. Because it's a hate crime. They'll throw you in jail. You gotta be real polite when you turn them down like 'no thank you sir...I would prefer not to.'
*Slow fade as Old Men continue to talk about 'fish' and 'cologne' and all those 'tricky dudes' who try to sexually entrap these old guys (*wink wink*) b/c that's a real threat. That's their reality. I eat my sandwich in the cold.
BLACKOUT
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