Friday, November 26, 2021

Making an Effort

 Some days it really hits me: everyone is doing the best that they can. That doesn't mean they're doing the things most helpful to themselves. It doesn't mean they're not self-destructing from old triggers or plagued with anxieties, or lashing out from insecurities or riddled with addictions. It just means that everyone is doing the best that they can under circumstances that are both in and outside of their control. As I was walking to tech rehearsals, a homeless man asked me for change. I gave him some. Then he paused and said 'so how was your Thanksgiving?' We talked as two people crossing paths with brief pleasantries. He was on his way somewhere. And I was on my way somewhere else.


The interaction reminded me of a friend who got hooked on drugs a few years ago. His life spiraled. Amidst this chaos he texted me to ask if I could buy him a sandwich. I told him I was in tech rehearsal (different play) but I could meet him at the sandwich shop near the corner. He walked 80 blocks down to this place...for a sandwich. I got him two and gave him some money. We talked about life. Then I had to go back to rehearsals and he had to go back to whatever he was doing. That was the last time I saw that friend. He died of a drug overdose. But I think about our last exchange and I would like to believe I did the best I could...and he did the best he could. And that's how we left things. Some times I have these brief exchanges with other people and think 'I wonder if that is my reincarnated friend....trying again.' I'll meet him the next time around on this carousel.

No comments:

Thank you, Morgan Jenness. Rest in Peace.

 "You need to meet Morgan!" At different times throughout my early NYC yrs ppl would say that to me: meet Morgan Jenness. She was ...