Wednesday, April 8, 2020

Pandemic Notebook: Dealing with Monotony

Quarantine Q&A...

Hey Siri, what's the difference between a Becky and a Karen?

"Here's an article I found on The Root."

Nice! Quick on the draw too. Hey, Siri... what's the difference between a Becky, a Karen, and an Amber?

*I'm not showing any results*

Clever move...Amber!! I see you flexing and deflecting on to Becky and Karen. But you too shall be exposed. I see through you like the clear-heels you wear.

***

MORNING RITUAL

*doorbell* UPS package
Me washing hands after opening

*doorbell* FEDEX package*
Wash hands after opening

*doorbell* regular ass mail with packages
Wash hands

*doorbell* lunch and dinner food delivery
Wash hands

*oops I just touched bag on floor*
Wash hands

MY HANDS: BRUH! WT...
*hands scream, wash hands, and drown out the screams*

***

Prepping myself for Biden's disappointing VP pick b/c Dems selecting an underwhelming VP is a tradition that goes back half a century. Let's see... we can lower the bar and raise groans w/...
-Tim Kaine: didn't work before but that's never stopped the DNC.
- Joe Lieberman: just to get someone older than Biden.
- Karen from HR: ugh, she's always asking for the manager.
- Mr. Magoo: makes Biden look virile in comparison.
- Ghost of a Confederate General: reaching across the aisle to working class voters and psychic mediums.
- melted carton of Ben & Jerry's ice cream: probably too progressive.

***

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