Tuesday, January 30, 2018

SOTU Simple

The state is simple:

- the America that hated him before, hates him afterward.
- the America that loved him before, loves him afterward.
- any drinking fact checker is probably dead after this speech.
- NYC had two 'invisible and silent' terrorist attacks last week.
- Trump still has a denture problem.
- America's 'freedom dick' grows every time we measure it.
- have we told you about how great we are in bed?
- America's freedom is veiny, gorgeous, iron-clad, never premature.
- America killed all the dinosaurs because we are awesome.
- America shows love by kicking ass and building nukes.
- America invented applause by slapping British bottoms.
- America has 10 Bills of Rights and they're all the 2nd one.
- America turns a rich man's piss into a poor man's sunshine.
- America's original sin is still on track to destroy this country.
- American whites are still down with the original plan.
- America's #1 export: bragging about America's stiff freedom dick.
- America's #1 import: skilled labor, which we need to deport.
- America's #1 prop: tragic POC
- America's #1 energy source: nostalgia that never existed.

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