Saturday, November 22, 2014

Top 10 Fake Scandals Under Obama

Top 10 List of 100% fake-ass imaginary scandals and crapstorms constructed entirely by Fox News and GOP handlers that were picked up by mainstream press to waste 6 years of time with sheer lies.
1. Obama's birth certificate (it's real and he has both kinds)
2. Solyndra (profitable renewable energy company that paid its loan back)
3. Cash for Clunkers (extremely successful, minimal glitches, fixed quickly)
4. Fast and Furious: bogus bogus bogus.
5. IRS targeting Conservative Groups (nope, in fact liberal groups targeted)
6. ACORN corruption (nope, zero, zilch, nada)
7. EBOLA is going to kills us all!! (and by everyone I mean one guy)
8. ISIS is going to behead us all! Damn you Obama! (Bye, Felicia!)
9. Obama is going to take away your guns (he should but, sadly, he's not)
10. Benghazi!!
Honorable mentions (sorry, you didn't make the cut. Try again next news cycle): Obamacare Death Panels, Michelle Obama is force feeding your kids vegetables, Obama hates white people (via Glenn "Kanye" Beck), pal'ing around with Sal Alinsky, Rev. Jeremiah Wright is Obama's main Mau Mau homeboy, Dept. of Agr worker Shirley Sherrod is a racist and discriminating against white farmers (here look at at this edited footage from Breitbart), and....'radical' fist bumps.
Now let's play a fun game called "Accountability." If you systemically and maliciously spread hundreds of fantasies and made-up stories, force Congress to hold hearings on these fabulations, find false witnesses and fake experts to co-sign your bullshit, then you lose your license to call yourself a news organization. You lose your press passes, your airwave slot as a TV news organization. By FCC standards you are treated as pure entertainment, and must wear a tinfoil hat to any government event you now have to crash with Ted Nugent and Meat loaf!

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