Trayvon Martin and Walking While Black

Keep moving. 

Don't stop. 

Don't make eye contact. 

I have felt like Trayvon Martin. Many many times while walking at night, being pulled over by police, being told that I'm not supposed to 'be.' My 'being' in a space has caused questions, concerns, suspicions. In the back of my mind I always wondered if there would be a reckoning. If my 'being' would become so intolerable to someone that they would try to end my existence, rather than engage in a conversation.  The only difference between me and Trayvon is that I am still here and he is not.  Still, the question lurks around the subconscious when I walk home every night from the subway and a police car slows down alongside me. The squad car slows down. Eyeballs examine my 'being' noticing any signs of anger, insanity, guilt. I continue walking, pretending to be oblivious. In most cases this is the best sign of innocence: by pretending to not notice.

Unlike myself, Trayvon physically noticed the accusation. He noticed the suspicion and dared to walk toward it. Stare at it, as he spoke with his girlfriend over the phone. Curious, as to who could be staring at him so intently he took a step in Zimmerman's direction. Staring directly at George Zimmerman before quickly walking away.

When I am walking in strange or dark surroundings I try to keep it moving. No time to stop. I hear my parents' voice of survival.

You don't know where this person is coming from.

You don't know what they want or what they're trying to get.

They could be trying to get into a fight. They could be trying to rob you. It could be a trap.

Keep it moving. 

 A few years ago I was headed home from the library. Two figures came out of a building and began pursuing me. From the corner of my eye, I saw that they were two tall football-muscular men in their 20s. They happened to be White. I keep my eyes on the path. They seemed to be trying to catch me.

I flipped up my collar and continued walking briskly. One of the men came alongside me.



Dude, do you have a lighter?



No, I don't smoke.


Stupid nigger.


I continued walking very quickly. This felt like a trap of some sort. I was supposed to react to it. Turn around and get in a fight with two bigger stronger men who seemed worked up about something. I was supposed to turn and scream 'murder' or swing at one of them. I was supposed to react and give them something. I picked up my pace and kept walking. I made sure not to run, but I never made eye contact. The goal was to get home. I was not going to be swayed by a 'word' that was intended to arouse my rage. 

The two men eventually trailed off, seeing that I was unwilling to take the bait. Perhaps they found a Mexican, Asian, or another Black man that night. I wasn't going to be 'their one.'

On another occasion a cab driver seemed to go out of his way just so he could spit on my path and give me a murderous look. I was walking down the street carrying my airport luggage.

I could name other incidents of walking while Black: the police slow-downs, pull-overs, suspicious looks. It's all the same because my reaction has to be measured and numb. I pretend not to notice and keep eyes fixed straight ahead.  Hands out of pockets and swinging along my side. Maybe I'll start singing. A guilty man wouldn't sing, would he?

More and more the last few years when I find myself WWB, a sad smile comes across my face.After all these years, you're still looking for that sign of suspicion. It's not here. I'm innocent. There is nothing wrong with me. I'm just a Black man out for a walk.

Keys to the Logic Machine

Master Dignaga (540 AD)

After having thoroughly digested Tao Open and secret sayings, returning to basic psychology, delving into quantum physics theories on images, and beginning studies on A Course in Miracles the past year, I'm revisiting one of my favorite studies: Buddhist logic. I'm re-listening to courses on the Asian Classics Institute (acidharma.org). I've gone through all the teachings, the homework, quizzes, and final exams for the first 15 courses. Yet, I've found myself returning again and again to ACI Course 13: The Art of Reasoning. 


The Art of Reasoning deals with The Commentary on Valid Perception by Master Dharmakirti (650 AD).  The big founder of Buddhist logic was Master Dignaga (480-540 AD). Master Dignaga laid out the rules for debate, logic, and how to get to the direct perception of emptiness. After his passing, people started questioning the purpose of logic and Master Dharmakirti came along and wrote the principle commentary. Valid perception is a code word for the ultimate aim of Master Dignaga.  

Master Dharmakirti (650 AD)

But even the commentary is so difficult to understand that then a Tibetan commentary was written about the commentary. Keys to the Logic Machine by Purbuchok Jampa Tsultrim Gyatso (1825- 1901)is one of the latest commentaries for students in 20th and 21st century. These teachings have been translated by Geshe Michael Roach, who teaches the subject like a true master.


Purbuchok Jampa was the teacher for the 13th Dalai Lama, the one who foretold of the collapse of Tibet decades before it happened when he was in his strongest position. 


Logic is very difficult. It requires a high degree of concentration and focus. Even over the course of studying ACI 13 the past few years, I have noticed how my understanding shifts, ascends, and deteriorates depending on my ethics and how well I'm keeping my vows. I have literally re-read passages of sections I believed I understood, and not even been able to understand what it was saying a week later. Then I have tightened my vows and watched my understanding return. At the very least, it made me aware of how fluid my mental capacities are, and how easily I can slip. It's a lot easier to slip in understanding than to climb back up the mountain.


Logic is also very difficult because they say it's the key to direct valid perception of truth. It's very easy for me to slip back into the world of judgment and duality. Over the last week I have been preparing myself. I shut down on my news watching, sports, ignorant reactions and actions. I've re-upped my daily meditations, trimmed my diet to only what's necessary as fuel, and I'm now working out at the gym so I have a stronger more flexible body and mind. With that in mind, I delve back into this very simple (but not easy) path. 


The most striking thing about Keys to the Logic Machine is that it has a few functions 1) see emptiness or direct valid perception 2) stop judging people 3)keep teachings of logic safe in world. All three are related to valid perception of reality. And in order to understand that object of indivisibility, I have to work with mental images. Mental images are the things I stick on top of stuff and mistake for the actual thing: i.e. every person and thing in my universe. 


Now returning to this subject with some understanding of quantum physics and wave functions, I'm beginning to look at the Buddhist analysis of images. 


In physics there are two basic mediums of energy: wave or particle. Essentially we're talking about the difference between a potential (wave) and a point (particle). My understanding is that a wave is non-local (or very close to it) while the particle is local. Waves operate in the zero-pt field of energy, where all energy plays and "appears" to move, start, and stop. They say consciousness collapses wave potential of a non-local energy into a particle or point. This happens at a subtle level but is applicable in all situations. 


For example, I am walking down the street yesterday and I see this object. It's not clear to me what this is. It's close to the ground. As I get closer I notice its furry. It is a wave potential of 'cat.' It's 'cat-ness.' As I get closer to my focus it shifts and clearly becomes 'a cat.' It shifts from wave awareness, to a particle. The mind takes it from 'cat' to 'a cat.' My view of 'a cat' is based on my previous views of cat. In fact, I'm never seeing the cat in front of me. I'm always seeing my mental image of 'a cat' from my mind. 


To scientists and visual artists, this seems obvious. But according to quantum physics, that is the universe. And in Buddhism, it is the study of how mental images work is the key to opening the mind (logic machine). Studying mental images isn't the end goal. But once I truly understand them, then I begin to understand dependent origination and work my way back to valid perception. 


In A Course in Miracles they state that all learning goes along this path. From duality to non-duality and finally pure non-duality. In pure non-duality there is no separation between Subject and Object. The verb is merely a loop feed action of the conscious mind. In poetic terms, every person and object in the dream is a reflection of the dreamer. There is no second dreamer influencing my dreams. The nightmares and monsters are a reflection of me. My consciousness is subject and object. Well in waking life there is a loop feed like in a dream. The subject (me) and the object (out there) are coming from same feed because the object is a mental image from me. That doesn't mean I let anything happen in my world because it's all from me. I try to challenge and shift the monsters in my dreams, but with the awareness that I am playing a role in its creation. There is no monster machine below ground that is making the painful things in my world or dreams. 


What's remarkable is that science and religion agree. From Jesus to Buddha to Einstein, they all agree there is a holographic universe. The universe is a holograph and holds the principles of a holograph. Holograph depend on a surface that shoots out images. Each part of a holograph is the same as all other parts, because they're not real. They are things projected on to a screen. The purpose of analyzing the holograph isn't to make better 'fake images.' But to see reality and wake up from the dream. The dream goes up and down, causes pain and happiness, but it follows the inconsistency of the holographic plate. There is nothing to this holographic 'dream' universe but to wake up from it. There is no other reason. 


The reason I'm here is to undo all of my guilt and mistakes according to A Course in Miracles. The best way to undo them is to practice this forgiveness with the understanding that I'm only forgiving another part of the dream that is coming from me. Ultimately I am forgiving myself and undoing all my guilt. I am forgiving the nightmare I created as a way to end the karma of guilt. But to do that effectively, I must know the aspects of my mental images and dreams. I have to truly understand the way things collapse from waves to particle, from non-local to local, and from a general type to a specific object. 


I'm hoping to get in deeper with this and blend it with quantum physics holographic studies. We will see how this goes. 

Cartoons and Philosophy

This episode of The Pink Panther is a classic. It shows the ridiculousness of duality in a cute, digestible animated short. The clip was posted on the Non-duality Network and it transported me back to my childhood. The Pink Panther overcomes the stubborn painter until the entire world is changed. Love overcomes the anger and easily transforms it. The more will is exerted, the quicker Pink Panther progresses into a world of his own choosing.

I love cartoons, especially in their 60s and 70s heyday. Back then, the animation houses were filled with burnt-out philosophers, avant garde artists, and new-age, draft dodging weirdos. Parents would sit their kids in front of the TV and, unknowingly, educate them in Zen philosophy, Gandhi's peace protests, and the futility of violence. Growing up in the 1980s, we got a lot of the leftovers and repeats from that era.

Tom & Jerry, The Roadrunner, and Bugs Bunny made classics that featured villains blindly trying to exert their will on the willy and playful universe. The playful universe -often embodied as a juxtaposed character- would simply subvert, frustrate, and overcome the stubborn blind will. I don't think there's a better teacher for children on the idiocy of violence than watching Jerry repeatedly defeat Tom, or the Coyote who purchases ACME dynamite only to see it blow up in his face while the Roadrunner darts by, completely oblivious. Elmer Fudd's hunting for years and never catching one single animal (much less the smart-mouthed rabbit) is something I can see an anti-Vietnam hippy coming up with late at night in between tokes .

Dude, he never catches the rabbit. (puff puff)


Not even once. (puff puff)


Nah, never. (puff puff) Fucking asshole.


Awesome!

Pink Panther wasn't one of my favorite cartoons. If it was on, I would tolerate it. But most of the time I would look to see what else was on. From a visual standpoint, I didn't like the color pink. It wasn't because I was a boy, but the color irritated my eyes and reminded me on inflammation and Pepto Bismol. My sister's room was painted pink and it was one of the most effective deterrents from snooping around her stuff. Everything about that pink room annoyed me and I wondered how she could sleep in a giant esophagus.

But Pink Panther was a part of that arty European-looking minimalist stuff with jazz music. Along with Peppy Le Pew, there were these cartoons I was aware of as being 'arty' as a child. I appreciated them more than I laughed at the antics and looked forward to growing up and watching it again with some perspective.

If a college offered a major in cartoon philosophy, I think the graduating students would be a lot more insightful, mentally flexible, and innovative than most philosophy and poli-sci students. Most importantly, I think our society can learn philosophy, see how its applied in absurd situations, and laugh. Laughter is an excellent learning tool. In our insane political environment of outrage, I'm learning to laugh more, not take the so-called 'enemy' so seriously, and to re-indulge in cartoons for inspiration. 

A Pill for Racists

Is this the cure for racism, sexism, or homophobia? Probably not, but Oxford University scientist say that the common heart disease drug, propranolol (40 mg), does show signs of shifting discriminatory thoughts in individuals that's above statistical error.

In an environment of increasing hostility, coercion, and fear, maybe we should all take two and see how we feel in the morning. If we use drugs to treat restless legs, why not racist heads?

"A Separation": Modern Tragedy

I couldn't wait. Stereotype of the loud Black moviegoer be damned! I needed to get a million ideas out. As the movie credits rolled, they all came rushing out. 


My friend and I immediately launched into a heated debate/discussion/comparison of what we saw. The conversation spilled out into the hallway, up the stairs, out Lincoln Center Movies, and up the street for several blocks. The only reason we stopped talking was to look for a place to sit down so we could continue arguing about the movie. 


"A Separation" isn't just a seasonal movie, but one of the most powerful movies of this generation. The story isn't a drama or suspenseful in the usual ways. It's aim is a lot higher and it hits the mark most of the time. "A Separation" is a tragedy. 

Beer for Breakfast

We pushed all our bottled into the middle of the room. It was December and around the holidays. I was a senior in college. Before leaving for home, my friends and I thought it would be a good idea to drink all the liquor in our rooms. Our logic was that we needed to clean our living space and we would start by emptying the alcohol down our throats.

It was a friendly evening of drinking and talking. The vodka made us into world-class storytellers. The rum made us laugh. The gin made us a captive and engaged audience for each. I felt like I was in a Hemingway novel. We were all so macho, confident, and at east with recounting tales from childhood, trying to outdo each other while the bottles slowly drained.

GET WHAT YOU WANT: March Playwriting Opps

March 2012 List of Contests and Competitions for playwrights

1.
Orange Hanky Production Call for New Plays
Deadline: rolling

Orange Hanky Productions is accepting submissions of original gay plays for our sixth reading series this June.

Orange Hanky’s mission is to produce original plays which raise the bar on gay theater, tackling the issues facing gay people in a truthful, raw and fresh way. OHP seeks out plays which break new ground in the representation of gay characters, plays in which simply being gay is not in and of itself the conflict. Orange Hanky’s productions present situations which are uniquely gay but are motivated by needs and fears which resonate with everyone, regardless
of sexuality.

Submitted plays should be between one and two hours in length, and must contain significant LGBT content. Please, per our mission statement, no plays dealing with being in the closet or coming out.

Plays may have had prior readings and workshops, but must never have had a production in New York.

To apply, please email to orangehanky@gmail.com your script and, in a separate document, a cover letter, including your contact information, the title of the play, a brief description of the piece, and (if applicable) the play’s previous reading, workshop and non-NY
production history.

For more information, visit our website at www.orangehanky.com.