2007: I was driving around Miami and turned to NPR and found out there was a debate going on in the middle of the afternoon. It was the Dem primary's sole radio debate. The event was scheduled like it was an afternoon filler to eat up air time. Stumbling upon this oddity, I decided to listen. Up until this point the primary was a binary choice: Hillary or Obama. There was a smattering of attention thrown to John Edwards. Apparently he was Kennedy-esque because of his smile and hair; in retrospect Edwards was more Kennedy-esque than we knew, but for other reasons.
As I drove around I listened to it for about an hour. I was surprised at how inept and flat most of the candidates sounded, particularly Hillary and Obama. The radio debate was a chance to open up and explain your actual policy in front of an audience of a freaks and geeks who would even deign to listen to serious policy debate on the radio. It was the chance to cut loose and try charm. But no such luck with most of the field. Obama and Hillary were running the clock out on this non-event by spouting broad, bland campaign slogans as policy platforms. It was like going to a master chef's house expecting a feast and getting bologna sandwiches on Wonder Bread. The other candidates sounded equally bored, uninterested, and a little dumb. Bill Richardson skipped the debate to go to a funeral instead because, hey...probably a larger crowd there than on the radio. I felt like I had tuned into an alternate universe where the C- version of each politician was running for president. There were only 2 candidates that stuck out like lightning.
Two people I would have never expected: Joe Biden and Chris Dodd. When they spoke, everything they said was so clear and deeply rooted in big policy changes more aligned with old-school Dems of the 1940s and 1950s. On foreign policy they staked out clear lines. Several times I found myself muttering aloud 'CHRIS FUCKING DODD?! When did you become interesting?!? How is this possible that you sound so smart?' The debate ended with a big yawn, which I think is required according to NPR debate rules. It was like 'oh well, that was nice and didn't matter b/c we're on fucking radio. Thanks to the dozens of people who tuned in and will never remember this non-event...' and then it felt like the moderator just faded into oblivion. The only takeaways from the event I had were 'Joe Biden and Chris Dodd are some sort of policy maverick duo...and they will NEVER EVER EVER be president. Oh well. Ten years later, I'm in LA at the French Film Festival and the honorary president of the event was...Chris Dodd.
Retired and unshackled from the burdens of being the most boring white politician in the universe, Dodd spoke at length about French cinema. Apparently he is a cinephile. I found myself shaking my head and smiling...'Mr. Dodd...you are full of interesting quirks.' I wouldn't be surprised if Dodd also does K-pop breakdancing under a pier on the weekend and hotwires cars for fun. You just never know what's going on inside someone. Chris Dodd and Joe Biden: too bad you suppressed all of that to be Senators. I think Biden and Dodd were of a certain age where that was expected if you ran for office: anything interesting about you? Good, bury that shit and lock it away, put on this blue suit, wear this simple tie, stay within the margins of what is acceptable in Connecticut and Delaware. They achieved their goals of being elected bores with an amazing internal monologue, rich spiritual life, and deep policy knowledge. And few were the wiser of what they were thinking. But then there Dodd was on stage with the directors, laughing it up, no tie...no fucking TIE...raw-shirting the event like a wild animal. I even think I spotted him wearing loafers with no socks. Playboy of the Western World. He was speaking in French. Mr. Dodd.. you finally did become president. Of the French Film Festival. And I guess Biden did okay too.
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