NEVER TRUMP REPUBLICANS: Okay, Dems! We are here. Thank you so much for having us.
DEMS: Welcome to the party. This is potluck so did you-
NTR: -I brought a buffet of tips, advice, and policy on how this party should be run.
DEMS: You just walked in the door.
NTR: I know. And already I'm helping you. You're welcome.
DEMS: And your hair is on fire.
NTR: Oh, yeah. We had to run out of that burning house we tiki-torched. First off, don't become socialist (whatever that means b/c I actually have no idea). Don't try to address income inequality, don't talk about gender, race, misogyny or do anything to upset me. Btw, I get upset about a lot of stuff very easily.
DEMS: We know.
NTR: Next, don't motivate your base. They're radical and scary.
DEMS: Your base is radical. They are literally killing ppl. When there's a mass shooting or bombing, 9 out of 10 times it's by radical Republican terrorists and so-called Evangelicals.
NTR: Yeah, but #blacklivesmatter looks angry. And they don't smile so it's like the same thing. And they make me upset. I would advise that you just give ppl a watered down version of me, quote Reagan like Obama did, take the high road in all cases, and -eventually- I'll come around...maybe (ehh, maybe not depending upon my mood).
Dems: Then how do we motivate our base?
NTR: You don't need to now that I'm here. I'm gonna vote for you and I know at least 3 or 4 more 80-year-old Republicans who said they will strongly consider voting for a Dem if you just don't talk about socialism. James Comey is down and...others.
Dem: Do you know what socialism is in reality?
NTR: Anything that involves health care for all or better education or addressing income inequality IS socialism in my book.
Dem: That's not socialism at all.
NTR: Don't care, minor details. We have to get this guy out of the White House. He is crazy!!
DEMS: We know. But didn't you vote for all his policies?
NTR: Well...that's before I saw the light.
DEMS: Didn't you approve dozens of his retrograde degenerate judges and his entire cabinet of thieves?
NTR: That was so long ago...It's September. That happened, like, in the summer.
DEMS: Didn't you all vote for Kavanaugh even though he perjured himself?
NTR: He's not that bad. So do we have a deal?
DEMS: I don't know.
NTR: The ghost of John McCain wants you to do this.
DEMS: Well since you put it like that, deal!! Hahaha, I can't wait to tell our base that we got three old white ppl to come out and vote for us, along with James Comey, and the ghost of John McCain. The college crowd is going to be so jazzed.
NTR: Btw, I'm gonna to drink all your booze and I may set the house on fire. But for now...you're welcome, America. I'm here to help and be apart of the resistance. #anonymous #psychoticfriends #nevertrumpers
DEMS: Welcome to the party. This is potluck so did you-
NTR: -I brought a buffet of tips, advice, and policy on how this party should be run.
DEMS: You just walked in the door.
NTR: I know. And already I'm helping you. You're welcome.
DEMS: And your hair is on fire.
NTR: Oh, yeah. We had to run out of that burning house we tiki-torched. First off, don't become socialist (whatever that means b/c I actually have no idea). Don't try to address income inequality, don't talk about gender, race, misogyny or do anything to upset me. Btw, I get upset about a lot of stuff very easily.
DEMS: We know.
NTR: Next, don't motivate your base. They're radical and scary.
DEMS: Your base is radical. They are literally killing ppl. When there's a mass shooting or bombing, 9 out of 10 times it's by radical Republican terrorists and so-called Evangelicals.
NTR: Yeah, but #blacklivesmatter looks angry. And they don't smile so it's like the same thing. And they make me upset. I would advise that you just give ppl a watered down version of me, quote Reagan like Obama did, take the high road in all cases, and -eventually- I'll come around...maybe (ehh, maybe not depending upon my mood).
Dems: Then how do we motivate our base?
NTR: You don't need to now that I'm here. I'm gonna vote for you and I know at least 3 or 4 more 80-year-old Republicans who said they will strongly consider voting for a Dem if you just don't talk about socialism. James Comey is down and...others.
Dem: Do you know what socialism is in reality?
NTR: Anything that involves health care for all or better education or addressing income inequality IS socialism in my book.
Dem: That's not socialism at all.
NTR: Don't care, minor details. We have to get this guy out of the White House. He is crazy!!
DEMS: We know. But didn't you vote for all his policies?
NTR: Well...that's before I saw the light.
DEMS: Didn't you approve dozens of his retrograde degenerate judges and his entire cabinet of thieves?
NTR: That was so long ago...It's September. That happened, like, in the summer.
DEMS: Didn't you all vote for Kavanaugh even though he perjured himself?
NTR: He's not that bad. So do we have a deal?
DEMS: I don't know.
NTR: The ghost of John McCain wants you to do this.
DEMS: Well since you put it like that, deal!! Hahaha, I can't wait to tell our base that we got three old white ppl to come out and vote for us, along with James Comey, and the ghost of John McCain. The college crowd is going to be so jazzed.
NTR: Btw, I'm gonna to drink all your booze and I may set the house on fire. But for now...you're welcome, America. I'm here to help and be apart of the resistance. #anonymous #psychoticfriends #nevertrumpers
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