Arts programs should have mandatory classes on how to deal with envy, bitterness, and anger. I've seen so many brilliant artists poisoned from the inside by their own emotions. In school, it was implied that only bad people had these feelings or we buried it, or masked it behind a facade of shrill and adamant 'super positivity.' Our puritanical heritage dismisses dark emotions as the work of the devil...'get behind me satan...not today satan...the devil was testing me.' Rather than pretending like there is some external monster wielding a pitchfork and a duffel bag of hate, why not acknowledge the truth: if you're in a highly competitive field dark emotions will arise. It is human.
In Buddhist studies, they spend a lot of time on shame, envy, jealousy, ignorance. It's a thing to work on and everyone has it hidden somewhere. Even the greatest saints went through purification of jealousy or anger...and not for months. Years and years and this was when some of these people were considered masters. Master Naropa was already the most lauded monk of his era when he went through a decade of purifying/detoxing his own pride with a series of grueling trials. Master Asanga went through 12 years of hellish suffering to remove his anger and pride. These guys were like the Steve Jobs of Buddhism and they were still like 'damn, my mind is fucked up.'
There is no anger demon waiting to torture me. The call is coming from inside the house!! Pick up the phone, talk to it, deal with it.
****
"A Zen master and his student were about to cross a river when they saw a grumpy Old Man standing at the shores, complaining about his life. The Zen Master carried the Old Man across the river on his shoulders. When they got to the other side, the Old Man just complained some more and wandered off into the woods. The student said 'how rude! Why did you carry that Old Man across the river?' The Zen Master replies 'the question is why are you still carrying him?'
- writer this morning (not me)
In Buddhist studies, they spend a lot of time on shame, envy, jealousy, ignorance. It's a thing to work on and everyone has it hidden somewhere. Even the greatest saints went through purification of jealousy or anger...and not for months. Years and years and this was when some of these people were considered masters. Master Naropa was already the most lauded monk of his era when he went through a decade of purifying/detoxing his own pride with a series of grueling trials. Master Asanga went through 12 years of hellish suffering to remove his anger and pride. These guys were like the Steve Jobs of Buddhism and they were still like 'damn, my mind is fucked up.'
There is no anger demon waiting to torture me. The call is coming from inside the house!! Pick up the phone, talk to it, deal with it.
****
"A Zen master and his student were about to cross a river when they saw a grumpy Old Man standing at the shores, complaining about his life. The Zen Master carried the Old Man across the river on his shoulders. When they got to the other side, the Old Man just complained some more and wandered off into the woods. The student said 'how rude! Why did you carry that Old Man across the river?' The Zen Master replies 'the question is why are you still carrying him?'
- writer this morning (not me)
1 comment:
Just randomly found this site. Thanks for this post. Puritanical, indeed! Had to leave America to get closer to myself and it's nice to get intimate with those less than desirable parts of us.
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