Mood: When Your Bank Fishes For Compliments But You're Feeling like a Motherless Child in an Existential Capitalist Abyss

TELLER: You're ready for the weekend?
ME: Well it's doesn't matter cuz it's here. So ...😐
TELLER: 😁
ME: (give. me. my money. And let me go) 🙂
TELLER: I see that you've been a long-time customer of Wells Fargo-

*Blood-curdling sound of a crow screeching in the distance...CAWWW!!!*

TELLER: -is that correct?
ME: .Um..Wells Fargo (CAWW!!) ate my bank. I was at another bank that was swallowed up by Wachovia. And then Wells Fargo (CAWW!!) just sort of ate Wachovia. Whole.
TELLER: But you're satisfied with Wells Fargo?

*Crow screeches. Blood starts pouring out of an ATM*

ME: (what I wanted to say) Um...you guys ate my bank. And I was working at the time in Albuquerque and the only options for cashing my checks were 1) Wells Fargo 2) Bank of America which -I have been told- is the bank of Satan 3) check-cash stores. So out of those options, I choose incompetence over Satanic blood rituals or getting shot by a pimp while waiting in line.

ME (what I actually said): Um...you know. It's like...😬
TELLER: 😁 So you're satisfied?
ME: 😁 Ahahaha...um...
TELLER: 👀
ME: 👀
TELLER and MANAGER: 👀👀
ME: 👀
TELLER, MANAGER, SON OF SAM: 👀👀👀
ME: Um...sure. Yeah. Fine. Okay.
TELLER: 😁thank you for banking with Wells Fargo.

*Crow Cannibalizes Another Crow. Sound of Cats Having Angry Sex*

ME: 🤥 always a pleasure.