File under: If you don't make time for yourself, why would anyone make time for you?
Trainer cancelled for early morning session. I had already geared myself up the night before so I went to the gym this morning. He called to apologize and I was in the middle of my workout so I texted 'can't talk. Working out.' He seemed taken aback by that. Working out? Without me? Well yes, I had mentally set up a space/time in my mind. Just because you cancelled doesn't mean that space goes away. The workout is going to happen...with or without you. The only difference is whether or not you show up and get paid. It made me think about how I set up my schedule and making time for things.
It also made me think of ppl asking me for advice about writing.
About 4-5 times a month I receive an email requesting coffee for advice ( btw I'm not bragging or complaining. It's just the way things are right now.) In the past, I would indulge in these requests. I would set aside my time and go meet the person. Usually the meetings were nice. We would exchange pleasantries and advice. And then...nothing. Did it help? 99% of time the answer would be 'no.' Surprisingly, giving advice didn't seem to work. So I would try to elevate the conversation: to talk about the spirituality of writing, how to delve into your emotions, using certain techniques from Buddhism and meditation. I would even suggest reading books that have changed my life like THE DIAMOND CUTTER "Wow, thank you so much. This is so inspiring." They would run off and I would sit there feeling smug, like I actually did something. And I would check in a few months later to see if these meetings helped? No. Did they read the book? No. Did they take any steps? Well...they sort of took half a step and then got busy. Most of the time nothing would change and the person would be stuck in the same rut...or ask for a follow-up meeting to review the same things in the same way and do...nothing.
It finally occurred to me that most people don't set aside any time for themselves: to work out, to write, to plan, to set-up a retirement. Most people WANT to do these things, the like the benefits of doing these things...but then they go on with their lives. Good thoughts don't matter. Smart advice doesn't matter. The only thing that matters is the commitment to change, and that commitment shows itself in setting up a time/space for transformation. We go to school. set up gym appointments, ask for meetings so that someone else ties us down to a time and space to change. But really, those are just external ways to trick us into committing to ourselves. At the heart of it, if we don't set up time for ourselves, why would anyone set up a time for us?
The universe, God, karma...whatever you want to call it...doesn't work by magic. It works by commitment and deeds
Trainer cancelled for early morning session. I had already geared myself up the night before so I went to the gym this morning. He called to apologize and I was in the middle of my workout so I texted 'can't talk. Working out.' He seemed taken aback by that. Working out? Without me? Well yes, I had mentally set up a space/time in my mind. Just because you cancelled doesn't mean that space goes away. The workout is going to happen...with or without you. The only difference is whether or not you show up and get paid. It made me think about how I set up my schedule and making time for things.
It also made me think of ppl asking me for advice about writing.
About 4-5 times a month I receive an email requesting coffee for advice ( btw I'm not bragging or complaining. It's just the way things are right now.) In the past, I would indulge in these requests. I would set aside my time and go meet the person. Usually the meetings were nice. We would exchange pleasantries and advice. And then...nothing. Did it help? 99% of time the answer would be 'no.' Surprisingly, giving advice didn't seem to work. So I would try to elevate the conversation: to talk about the spirituality of writing, how to delve into your emotions, using certain techniques from Buddhism and meditation. I would even suggest reading books that have changed my life like THE DIAMOND CUTTER "Wow, thank you so much. This is so inspiring." They would run off and I would sit there feeling smug, like I actually did something. And I would check in a few months later to see if these meetings helped? No. Did they read the book? No. Did they take any steps? Well...they sort of took half a step and then got busy. Most of the time nothing would change and the person would be stuck in the same rut...or ask for a follow-up meeting to review the same things in the same way and do...nothing.
It finally occurred to me that most people don't set aside any time for themselves: to work out, to write, to plan, to set-up a retirement. Most people WANT to do these things, the like the benefits of doing these things...but then they go on with their lives. Good thoughts don't matter. Smart advice doesn't matter. The only thing that matters is the commitment to change, and that commitment shows itself in setting up a time/space for transformation. We go to school. set up gym appointments, ask for meetings so that someone else ties us down to a time and space to change. But really, those are just external ways to trick us into committing to ourselves. At the heart of it, if we don't set up time for ourselves, why would anyone set up a time for us?
The universe, God, karma...whatever you want to call it...doesn't work by magic. It works by commitment and deeds
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