DGWG Tip: Nicknames and Catchphrases

 DGWG Tip: Nicknames and Catchphrases. The oldest form of verbal storytelling. A good nickname can stick to a person more than their birth name. Dubya used cute nicknames for locker-room camaraderie. "Good job, Brownie" will forever go down as one of the great unintentionally funny catchphrases for someone who is doing a horrible job.' Michael Brown was Bush's FEMA director during Katrina and is considered the worst FEMA director until recently. Amidst the chaos, Bush stuck by his FEMA director and let slip his nickname: Brownie. Trump, on the other hand, uses nicknames to dominate and insult. New-SCUM, Little Marco, Nasty Woman.' It sticks around, and it's easy storytelling for his followers. As writers, we don't have to like this, but we do have to observe it b/c nicknames are narratives. In certain communities, nicknames are more important than birth names in defining our fate. What nicknames do your characters toss around? In one of my plays, there is a character who's a self-identifying 'Florida Redneck.' I needed a name I could remember b/c it was an ensemble piece with many characters. Hmmm...how about the Dallas Cowboys QB, Troy Aikman. I liked Aikman (pronounced ACHE-MAN) as a symbol of a long-suffering, well-meaning guy. So I named him Aikman and his friends would call him Aik (pronouced Ache.). But Aik would call everyone around him...Bubba. It was his form of 'Bro.' So black, white, male, female...bubba was his endearing nickname for 'friends.' 

This goes back to the playground. Bullies wield this storytelling technique; friends use it to up their pals; family members use it to establish deeper intimacy. In elementary school, there was a short, loud-talking bully in our class: Sylvester. It should be noted I went to a public school that was mostly Jewish, with Latino being the next biggest demographic. So Sylvester, or Sly, and I stuck out as the rare black person in some classes.  We were frenemies. We stayed cordial b/c there weren't many other black people around. But I was always wary of him b/c he used words to humiliate and demean opponents, and I knew there was going to be a time when it was my turn. And all the adults in my life let me know that bullies were a problem I had to figure out. No one would be stepping in for me or calling a timeout. This was a life lesson that was either going to whoop my ass or make me better. 

In one instance, Sly was bullying this big, tall kid who was twice his size and also happened to be a recent newcomer from China. Sylvester chirped at him, calling him a big oaf, making fun of his accent and haircut. The kid laughed it off, hoping that it would be a one-off insult. But Sylvester just kept going. As he continued to pick on this boy, I could see the bullied kid shrink, getting smaller and smaller. The other kid did not have the verbal faculties to match wits with Sly. So when Sylvester had reduced him enough...he hit him in the face. Broke his glasses into his cheek and drew blood. The big kid just stood there with his glasses broken and face bleeding. Sly got one day of after-school detention for the punch. I was mesmerized that the real damage was done before the punch: it was the nicknames that reduced the other kid, who could have smashed Sly into tiny pieces. (Btw kids, this was back in the days when bullying was met with an 'oh they're just being kids.' So kids were just saying anything racist, sexist, homophobic, whatever was the meanest nastiest nickname you could think of) 

Later on, when the teacher stepped out of a class for a few minutes. Sly took it upon himself to show dominance through nicknames. He went down the rows of students and insulted each one of them with a demeaning nickname or slur.  One of Sly's friend was a very effeminate gay white Southern kid who was 'yes and' everything Sly said to avoid getting picked on. You could say his sidekick was the elementary school version of Lindsey Graham: going along with the hatred to avoid getting smeared. Anyway, Sly went down the rows, literally going in seat order and people laughed at the joke and prayed that he moved onto to the student behind him. I was sitting 3 rows in, so I could see Sly methodically working his way toward me and had to think fast: I spitballed some slurs. It needed to be mean but not too mean. Just mean enough to say 'don't fuck with me brother...move on to the next person.'  After he finished insulting the student in front of me, I jumped in on the pause and rattled off 3 quick insulting nicknames about Sly's short height and high-pitched voice. The class laughed. As the only two black kids in class, we looked at each other. I smiled, 'ha ha,' just having fun. Sly paused...and then moved on to the kid behind me. Whew... he insulted every person that day... except me. And that's when Sly decided we were friends. I made it clear that -unlike Lindsey Graham's sidekick- I would not be 'yes and'ing his insults, but I would also not step in to defend someone. I was Switzerland to his Nazi Germany. Leave me alone or go around me. Btw, the Chinese kid who Sly bullied went on to become a scary, dominating All-state wrestler in high school. We briefly hung out again in the state wrestling finals. He was going to an Ivy League school, and nobody messed with him. He had found his love language: whooping everyone's ass. 

The next year there was another bully: Etamar. Like Sly, Etamar had a nasty wit for nicknames. Unlike Sly, Etamar was Jewish, but he had a black jock sidekick, which gave the bully dominion over both black, Latino, and Jewish kids at school. He insulted me a few times, and I let it slide b/c he insulted everyone. Then he started in with nicknames and a red warning light went off in my head: insults are one thing, but nicknames can stick around forever. After school, I sat down in a field and brainstormed mean nicknames. I had a few but didn't know which one was the best, so I would do a 'trial balloon' tomorrow in class, for a pre-insult Etamar and posed as a teasing joke. So Etamar walked into class and -in my most jovial voice- I lobbed a few nicknames off 'Hey, what's up (Blank)." There were some giggles, but his sidekick laughed especially hard at one nickname, and I knew 'that's the one.' So a few days later, Etamar starts insulting people, and he gets around to me, and I loudly say, 'I wouldn't talk....Eat-a-dick.' (Hey, it's elementary school...not Shakespeare.) Students erupted with laughter. More importantly, his own sidekick couldn't stop laughing. Etamar was stunned. In one turn of a phrase, I had decapitated his attack before it began. This became my pre-emptive strike strategy for the next few months. I sold it in the delivery, and Etamar always played it off by smiling and trying to continue on, so I would follow up with some second-tier insulting nicknames. But I had my top-shelf nickname. There were maybe 2-3 more times when Etamar tried to 'go in' on me, and I had his trusty nickname ready like a gun. Eventually Etamar stopped. Not out of the kindness of his heart, but out of the threat of public humiliation. 

Bullies served a very important function in my life. As a kid, they showed the power of short-handed phrases and witty nicknames.  When someone puts down Hakeem Jeffries' policies, that's one thing. But when an online troll starts calling him "AIPAC SHAKUR," that is quite another thing. B/c the nickname tells a very colorful, distinct story that everyone can follow. And the nickname spread much faster than the constructive criticism b/c ppl can remember the story.