Random Early Morning Thoughts about all the cheap places I lived in as a struggling artists...
-lived in first floor BK apt taken care of by a super who was a peeping Tom. He was the landlord's brother so we couldn't say anything without risking this cheap as rent. But when we moved in apt my roommates and I were watching tv on the couch and saw a pair of google-y eyes squeezed between a bent slate in the window blinds. It was a bit bizarre, funny, unsettling. Then I would wake up some times with the feeling that someone was watching me...b/c someone was. One morning I caught him by pretending to still be asleep and then slowing opening my eyes to see him looking at me sleep. So...we bought better, tighter blinds. You don't really hear about Peeping Tom's that much these days. They don't need to peep and creep b/c we have social media now. Both exhibitionism and yoyeurism has been monetized and normalized. But back in the communist days of actually believing in priacy, voyeurism required a Peeping Tom you to invade and steal ppl's privacy. It had to be taken away from them in these unsettling ways that made you feel violated and -at the same time- worthwhile that someone is looking at you like a tv star. $500/month
-illegal basement apartment in queens. No windows in bedroom. At night it was like sleeping in a coffin. Total blackout. Actually never slept better in my life than that illegal apt. $300/month.
-lived in small office converted into bedroom. Handymen would have sex in the basement. Only knew this b/c they were having sex in the basement area that was right above my bedroom so I could hear them as if they were in my room. One day I woke up to someone whispering hotly 'oh yeaaah...yeahhh.' and I jumped up b/c I thought someone was next to me. But it was the guys down below. Politely confronted handymen with roommate, by offering them some cookies during a 'lunch break' and informing them that we could hear everything in the basement. Everything. Both of the handymen got a shocked look on their face. And the noise problems ceased. $150/month
-holes-galore: holes in the floor and ceiling of Bushwick apt. Of course there were mice who frolicked around like they were at Six Flags. And then pipes would burst in the kitchen and landlord would ignore our calls until the place was flooded and then blame us like 'why didn't you do anything?' The neighborhood was getting gentrified and we knew the landlords were giving us hints about 'move out so we can fix this place up and charge a white couple 5 times more than you. So landlords just stopped fixing stuff and we became our own handymen. $500/month.
-summer lodging at UCLA frathouse that had frat bros who would go on violent alcoholic binges, cursing and saying racial epithets. They would throw glass bottles at your door so they would shatter and leave layers of broken glass in the hallway. Frat broys would bang on doors and try to unlock the doors. Had a few frat guys bust down my door in the middle of the night and stormed into my room. I jumped out of bed and grabbed nearest club-like object. It was awkward. Finally one of them said 'oh we thought this was...another room.' And then they left. I barricaded myself in my room by pushing furniture against the door...and somehow went back to sleep. Also place wasn't clean. Like unreal levels of filth. Carpet caked in mystery fluids. Pizzas and open jugs of peanut butter and jelly just left out for mice, ants, raccoons. But it was $500 for the entire summer, so we just going to Les Miz these barricades.
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