Team Billionaire

 THEM: Billionaires are an immoral failure of a culture.

ME: Rihanna is now a billionaire.

THEM: Aye! Aye! Aye!! RiRi!!

ME: So it's all right to be a billionaire?

THEM: Nope!! It's evil!! Why should one person have so much when there are so many in need?

ME: Kanye West is a billionaire along with Dr. Dre. 

THEM: Aye! Aye! Aye!! Loved College Dropout. 

ME: You hate billionaires and think they're immoral...except when they have hot songs?!?

THEM: Pretty much.

ME: So your problems with being a billionaire are about style, not philosophy.

THEM: Nope. They are artistic billionaires! It's different.

ME: New Batman movie is coming-

THEM: -I'll be there!! 

ME: So you hate billionaires except for artists and/or those who have a compelling narrative like Bruce Wayne or Oprah? Then it's ok?

THEM: Yes. Otherwise, billionaires are gross. Jeff Bezos! Gross!

ME: Then why do you have Amazon Prime and give him your money? Aren't you propping up billionaires? Didn't he ride to space on a dick rocket fueled by your money?

THEM:....

ME: Just admit you want to be a billionaire. You're not radical or pro-black in hating billionaires. You're not Karl Marx. You've bought into the capitalist dream which is why you root for 'your' billionaire but hiss at 'their' billionaire. You ate up that Steve Jobs mythos and Warren Buffet and turned the billionaire class into gods and heroes. Wouldn't it be better to just wear a sports jersey with your favorite billionaire so ppl knew which team you were on? The Bezos Bucks or the Oprah Orchids or the Rihanna Navy? What if every time someone became a billionaire you could buy their jersey and have your name printed on the back so you could pretend like you were 'on their team.' You're not revolutionary, and this is why the 99% majority continually fails to enact any substantial policy to tax 1% billionaires...b/c you want to be them. It's the reason why we can't even fund the IRS to get the wealthy to pay their bare minimum in taxes b/c you protect your billionaire like a fanboy. You're a tribal capitalist with billionaire aspirations and a 'woke' virtue-signal social media presence. Put on your billionaire jersey and sit down. 

THEM: I call dibs on Team Yonce!!